Hi Laura,
I'm sorry to hear that you're inner monolog is not nice. I actually agree that depression does have a nasty tone.
I agree, talking to yourself can be a way of distracting yourself from the things you don't want to think about, and that could be depression. Maybe loop your family into what you're doing so that if they hear you, they know why you're doing what you're doing and that it makes sense.
Just a thought.
-- Natasha Tracy